Bucket List

 The Bucket List
If you haven't watched the movie with Jack Nickolson and Morgan Freeman, I strongly recommend it. It's hysterical and a total tear-jerker. I never have been one much to ponder my mortality. I have known since I was a small child that I would live until I died, and then go to Heaven. The things that happened in between were inconsequential other than love and be loved by my family. I haven't lived much in the worldly things. I never have been one to want the latest fashion, the fanciest car, jewelry, or the other trappings and adornments of life. I am fairly attached to my phone, but I am sure I can learn to live without even that if persuaded. You will have to bury me with my laptop, however. A girl has to draw a line somewhere.

As I was perusing Facebook, several posts triggered something in me. I'm not sure if it's our pending vacation, but I have decided it's time to make a list of the things and places I want to do and see before I kick the bucket. It is of no particular order, and even if I never accomplish a single thing on this list, I have lived a complete and fulfilled live enriched by all the blessings from God.

1. Mount Rushmore
2. Seattle
3. San Francisco
4. The New York Public Library (complete geek, yeah, I know.)
5. The Smithsonian Museums
6. Chicago Museums 
7. Washington, DC
8. The Grand Canyon
9. Confederate Memorial
10. Ruby Falls
11. Neptune Beach, FL sometimes, you just have to go home
12. The Hot Air Balloon Festival
13. Leaf Peeping in New England
14. Go fishing with my dad at least once more
15. Take Mom to a craft fair
16. Teach Sid to crochet (might have to enlist Mom on this one)
17. Go back to see the Mouse
18. Panama Beach, FL
19. Key West, FL
20. Tour the Capital Building in Little Rock, AR
21. Watch the Noles play in the FSU Stadium
22. Own a kiln
23. Reconcile with Clay
24. Go to Disney World at Christmas time
25. Renew my vows with Jason on our 20th, 40th, 60th, 61st, 62nd (at that age, I can't keep skip counting by 20's)



Where ever I do end up, it will be by God's will and his mercy that I make it there. This list will get longer if I get older. I pray that if I do get to experience these things, I have the love of my life with my, and if my kids are there too that's just icing on the cake!!!

Call of Duty Isn't Just a Game

9:00 on a Tuesday night. He and I are bantering back and forth who is luckier to be married to the other. I think I am the blessed one, he thinks he is the one who's blessed. Yeah, that's the kind of fights we have! Lame, I know. It's kind of relaxed around here when he's not on-call. And then the phone rings. "Hey, man. Sure. Yeah. Whatcha got? Where at?" And with that my evening with my LEO is over. I hurry up and ice the cake we have to take to church tomorrow night in case I don't have time tomorrow while he runs down the things he hasn't done yet tonight. I remind him of our deal that he wear his vest on all scenes outside the office. "it's a secure scene, blah blah blah" Wear the dang vest. One more reminder...pray for [insert name]. With that, he was out the door.

The call of duty is what keeps their blood flowing. It is getting up in the middle of lunch to rush to a call. It is missing your kid's concert because you had a call at 3:45 and it required you to process the scene, interview multiple suspects and witnesses, and then type a narrative while the facts are fresh in your mind. Call of duty is getting called to a scene where there are people milling around, taunting, yelling, cursing, and there is not a thing you can do about it. You are called into their neighborhood because of a crime, but they don't want you there. Your safety is actually at risk for responding to a cry for help.

These LEO's give up things that "civilians" don't realize. Holidays, birthdays, vacations, meals, sleep, these are all luxuries. My LEO wasn't on call this week, yet if the need is there, he answers the call. I would work overtime if asked, but I don't think there is going to be a call at 4:00 am for an emergency permit. I don't think they will call me on the weekend while I am watching a movie with my girl and ask me to come in. I have been at lunch with him and his partners when a bank robbery call came in. They had not even taken a bite yet. I gathered their food and packed it to go, then dropped it off on their desks at the 57. I can recall times when we were poised to walk out the door for an outing when the phone rang...duty calls.

I am not bitter about his job in the least. His job is as much of who he is as the freckles on his skin. His job defines our lives and I am so entirely and completely proud of what he does. I am bitter that he gives up so much and expects so little, yet the one free thing people can give him is respect and withhold it. I am aggravated that he had to park his unmarked car several doors down from the donut shop the morning he wanted to surprise his daughter with donuts after he worked a stabbing all night. He said it wasn't worth the comments parking anywhere close to the store. He also had to hide anything PoPo on it and all because his mini-me wanted donuts.

Should I be more forgiving for those that know not what they do? Oh yeah, you betcha! Am I human? Sure sure! I am working on it. 

Recipe For A Happy Marriage

 

My oldest niece is getting married tomorrow. I am really excited for her and her future, so I wanted to give her a bit of advice to send her on her way. She is so much like me that it is scary and I know that there wasn't a whole lot that anyone could tell me back then that would have stuck. A smart person learns from their mistakes, a really smart person learns from others. I was bent on making my own mistakes because I had the mentality that just because YOU screwed up doesn't mean that I will. Another variation of that is, Just because it didn't work out for YOU doesn't mean that it won't work out for me. Yeah, I was a hard head. Not a whole lot has changed, really. I can recognize a train wreck in progress and avert my path, which is a newly acquired trick. I was always the one that not only wanted to watch the train wreck, but I either wanted to fix the wreck or ride the train. Yeah. Woo. Hoo. It was my own train wrecks and the forgiveness of my Lord that got me where I am now and I want to make sure that I pass on my words of wisdom if it will help someone switch tracks.

Forgiveness- You have to forgive each other for their inherent faults. But you have to own your mistakes when you make them.  Also, forgiveness means to LETITGO! Let it go. Move on. Do not drag it up on every occasion you can. It will just harbor ill feelings. And trust always.

Humility- Humble ourselves or a modest opinion of ourselves. We are human and we mess up. Right on. But, no one person is wrong all the time. Just as no one person is right all the time. Arrogance has no place in a relationship, but trust each other in everything.

Understanding- You will not completely understand where the other is coming from all the time. You were more than likely raised differently and had different experiences growing up. However, using some empathy for each other to try to imagine where the other is coming from might gain you perspective and allow for better understanding. He might yell at you after a hard day at work, but it isn't that he is mad at you. He might have trouble communicating that he is frustrated with coworkers and that yelling at you made him feel better at that immediate moment. Of course, he feels bad immediately after and thus a vicious cycle. Calmly let him know that it hurts your feelings when he takes out his frustrations on you. Understanding why people act as they do diffuses many arguments and most times eliminates them altogether. But trust is important.

Silence- He who holds their tongue holds the power. There are times in an argument that you have reached the pinnacle and there is nothing more to say. Anything more will just fan the flames and nothing good will come of it. This is the point that I just stop talking. No sarcasm (of which I am famous, or is it infamous,) no bitterness, just calmly say, "When we can calm down we can talk again." You will be shocked how much can be resolved when neither head is boiling. Trust is big.

Humor- Um. Humor is daily in my house. Sometimes, most times if I am honest, it is irreverent and crude. But we subscribe to laughter is the best medicine. One out of three kisses is a raspberry. He never knows which one. My cat looking like she is trying to do a much needed sit-up, we think is funny. Regardless of what you find humorous, take time each day to smile and hug each other. Make sure you trust each other.

Agreements- You have to have common ground on which to stand. We agree wrestling is silly, biscuits and gravy are awesome, our kids are to be raised with consistency and in church. We agree that the First 48 and COPS are the only two good reality shows and the FoodNetwork is a best friend. We agree that I am awesome and he is the best man in the world, and that neither of us will ever do better than we have with each other. I trust him with my life and his with me. Trust

Disagreements- There will be many, many, MANY disagreements in your marriage. I disagree that he should eat the chicken skin off the boiled chicken. I disagree that a Glock .40 is better than my S&W .38 Airweight. He thinks that NCAA football is stupid. He likes Seinfeld. The point is, you have to agree to disagree. You have to respect your differences and is what makes us endearing.Trust again

Repect- We are special, each and every one of us. And sometimes that means that we lick the windows. Love is making sure that the window is clean for your window-licker. Respect that we are different and you might not understand what makes the other tick, but understand that is what makes him/her who they are. You want people to respect you and your thoughts/opinions. The Golden Rule applies here; if you want someone to respect you, you must first give respect. More trust

Selective Amnesia- There will be things you know, learn, hear about your love that will bother you. Sometimes this will come out in a fight or someone will insensitively tell you in conversation. Did he get puking drunk on his bachelor party night and you had to fetch him to get him home? Fegetabout it! Once again, these are things that make him who he is and if you love him, you have to love all of him. I personally think that would be funny and punishment enough, but that's just me. The point is, there isn't anyone keeping score. You won't win anything if you do.Yes, trust.

Fighting Fair- When you get into the unavoidable altercation, make sure you follow some very important rules:

1. NEVER resort to violence. Beyond the fact that it is illegal, it crushes the spirit in ways words can't. If you truly love someone, you cannot want to hurt them.
2. Words should not hurt. Once again, if you love someone, you can't want to hurt them. If you're hurting, tell them you're hurting, but don't say things that will injure so they hurt, too. You just have two people that are wounded and mad.
3. Fight about the issue only! Don't drag out the bills, or the unpainted fence, or the dirty socks that never make it into the hamper. Establish the reason you are fighting and see if there is a resolution. Sometimes, you just have to agree to disagree.
4. Take a break if it boils over. Boxing has several rounds. Those guys don't just hop into a ring and pummel each other until the other taps out or falls over. If your fight gets too heated, have a designated word or even a bell to ring to have a literal time out. When you both have calmed a bit, you can resume with a much clearer head.
5. Hug and tell each other you love each other. You have to know you love each other even when you are so mad you could spit nails. Reaffirming your love is important every day. 

Can you see that trust is probably the biggest common denominator for successful marriages and lack thereof is the biggest reason for the demise of failed marriages? You can't live doubting the fidelity of the other. You can't hope what you say will be used against you or that you will be ridiculed for it. You have to trust the one you love. 

God- If you follow the rules in the Bible, you will be rewarded now and in Heaven. There will be storms to weather, but remember the teacher is silent during the tests. My verses I wanted to give to her are:

Psalms 5:11  Ephesians 1:7  Leviticus 19:18   Joshua 22:5 

 Psalms 23:6  1 Chronicles 16:34   Samuel 2:6   1 Peter 4:8

My husband and I had our 10th anniversary March 2012. We dated for less than four months before we got married. It was our willingness to work together, our ability to forgive each other, and our profound love for each other that made this work. He is my best friend I have ever had and I trust him more than any human being I have ever met. There are people who say we are co-dependent, and they are right. He knows me better than I know myself and I wouldn't have it any other way.

Our Engagement Photo 2002

 

Even Happier 2012

Glittery blooms

I went shopping recently and one of the stores had some awesome clips but have mercy the were proud of them. So I went shopping and for less than $10 I bought enough supplies to make 15 flowers. These are a sampling.

More Helpful Hints

Things you thought were trashed but aren't!

Melted lip balm- I've done this enough times that you thought I would have learned by now to bring my lip balm out of the car. If you discover that you tube of lip balm has melted, simply invert the tube so it's stands on its cap and put it in the fridge. Once it's cooled again, you've got a nearly brand new tube of balm. 

Stained shirts- I washed my daughter's not-so-fresh-from-camp clothes in warm water. Unfortunately, something pink bled onto three of her white shirts. The blue/white striped shirt is now dyed fushia pink/purple striped!  I tied dyed another, and the other one I dipped the shoulders in pink and the tail in blue. They bled into each other. You know what I used for dye? Food coloring and temp hair dye mixed. You might not have hair dye on you, but I have a funky girl, so we have several colors.

Stain remover on the fly- My daughter has a habit of pulling her baby teeth in inconvenient places. Most recently, she pulled a baby molar while at church camp during the last service. She got a drop of blood on her shirt. I didn't want it to stain and we were hours from being able to get it washed. Her Nana ALWAYS has hand sanitizer on her, so I took a smidge of it and dabbed it on the spot. Tada! No stain. I also used this for the errant dye from the above mentioned dye job that made it onto one of my favorite tees. It works.

How to Make a T-Shirt Folder

I used one as a teen in the 80's, my husband saw it on The Big Bang Theory and thought it was awesome...a t shirt folder. I looked them up to price them and although they are cheap enough, I saw there were also directions to make them. However, the directions didn't have photos that were Pinterest worthy, so I did my own pictures and doing my own directions.

 You will need:

Sheet of cardboard 25x30

Sharp blade

Duct tape

Ruler or tape measure

In the first image, you see there will be four pieces to the folder, one A, one B (slightly larger than A), and two C panels of equal size.

Cut out the panels by the dimensions indicated. Once this is completed, tape along panel A on both sides, creating a hinge. This is where the creativity comes in. Go crazy with it. There are gobs of duct tape styles out there.

When folding your shirts, place the item facedown with the collar in the A panel. Fold one C over, then the other C, then fold B up. Flip over the shirt and you have a very neatly folded shirt, which takes up less room in a drawer or suitcase. It also looks better when pulled from the drawer to be worn! Since it's cardboard, it cost nearly nothing to make, and it will slide under your bed or between your washer and dryer until laundry day.

Fluent in Sarcasm

I can't help it. Being the baby in the family has made me quick to defend and sharp witted. Unfortunately for some, I have a sharp wit and a great sense of humor. I try to be nice, but some people make it really hard.

I created these. Feel free to share.

Sincere Thank You

The graduation ceremony is over, the gifts have been received, and the dust has settled. While I was looking for my son's announcements, I was looking for Thank You cards at all the shops and was really let down with the lack of diversity. If you like zebras, cheetahs, or pink sparkles, you were in luck. My son did not fall into any of those categories and as always, I was left to my own resources.

I had already picked up some letter stamps on clearance and a brown pigment stamp pad a few months ago with the intentions of starting my paper crafts at a leisurely pace. Leisurely turned into abandoned and my only paper craft I have are the two sets of letters and two pads. I am a strong believer that the necessity is the mother of invention and being broke is the father of ingenuity. Add a pack of card stock and we're in business!
What do you know? I had some from his announcements. Awesomeness.

Meanwhile, back at the ranch...

Trying to get your graduate within a month of graduation to sit down for thank you notes is like nailing down Jell-O. We picked a day that he and I were the only two home and went to work.

I selected all the letters needed to spell out "thank you" and laid them in order.
The card stock we used is 4x8 and we folded it in half.
I took the "t" and stamped it on each card and passed it to my son. He stamped below that the "y" and we traded off until we had spelled out "thank you".
Once we finished with the lettering, it looked bare, plain, impersonal. I suggested he stamp his fingerprint on the corner and he added the faces, each different than the other.

I had so much fun making these with my kid, as I have with all the crafts I have made with them. It made it even more worth it when I got the call today from my mom telling me how much she loved her card. She got it that it was really the most personal thank you card she ever got, and that is why we do what we do. When we crafters make things ourselves, it is for many reasons: frugality, quality control, invention, or ingenuity. Most of us make things ourselves to make it personal, so the recipient knows we love and care about them enough to do it ourselves.

Household Tips

Fresh lemon will remove onion scent from your hands, it does a pretty good job on garlic smell, too.
Others say rubbing your hands on stainless steel will also get this particular from your hands.

To keep out ants, find where they are entering and sprinkle a barrier of cinnamon or ground pepper to block their way.

Stuff miniature marshmallows in the bottom of a sugar cone to prevent ice cream drips.

Potatoes won't "eye" if  you put an apple in the bag with the potatoes.

Fresh eggs sink. If your egg (still in the shell) floats, chunk it.

Egg whites remove gum from clothes. Brush egg onto the gum and let it set for 15-20 minutes, then wash as clothing label directs.

Baby wipes are touted as stain removers from motor oil to blood. I have personally used them to remove soda and ketchup, but not for any oil based stains.

Pour leftover wine into ice trays to use for sauces. (Who has left over wine?) I am going to use this for left over juice.

To clean the microwave, place 1 c water and 1/2 vinegar in a microwave safe bowl and boil for 4 minutes. remove the bowl and start wiping off all the gunk that is now dripping from the ceiling of your microwave. Repeat as necessary! I have had to do it more than once.

Save your old tooth brushes for cleaning, painting and other useful stuff. Run it through the dishwasher and it's sanitized.

See More House Hold Tips for more things I use to make my life easier.

Sanity Saver!

Our Sanity Saver!

 My child has the memory of a goldfish. Every morning is spent playing 20 questions such as "have you brushed your teeth yet?" and "are those clean socks?" My husband and I work together in this game, but when he had to spend a week out of town, I knew I would be on my own. Since I am getting ready for work at the same time she is getting ready for school, I had to devise a strategy to avoid meltdowns in the morning.

I went to the store-that-shall-not-be-named out of a momentary lapse of brain function, but they actually had what I needed on clearance and I have used the supplies on other crafts!

You will need:

Three colors of poster board (or other sturdy paper)
Self-adhesive magnet tape
Aleen's craft glue
Permanent marker
hole punch
ribbon

Write the title on the top of the base sheet the poster board. 

On the yellow board, cut equal sized strips in the number you will need to complete the list. 

Cut off a 2" strip of magnet and adhere to the list strip. 

With the green board, cut one strip slightly more narrow than the yellow and then into 3" pieces. Write DONE on the green pieces. Smear some craft glue onto the magnet and adhere the green to the back side of the yellow. 

Cut a 4" strip of magnet and stick to the pink where you want to hang the yellow strip.

 Punch two holes into the top of the poster board and string ribbon through the holes. You're now good to go.

Craftiness

My daughter wants a dog. We have a cat that thinks she's a dog, but apparently those aren't one in the same for a nine year old. To allow her to show her responsibility and to earn an allowance, we decided to create a chore-for-pay system. This will hopefully also help her get into a mindset of what needs to be done in the house other than play Poptropica! Another side effect is to teach her you earn money for work in the real world so let's start off with the things she is going to have to know when she is out on her own.

I saw several ideas in the store for how to keep track of the chores and I saw how other mom's have done it. This is what I came up with. It's a cookie sheet, ribbons, gold duct tape and the colors are paint chips stuck to magnets with each chore and the amount earned for each chore. Since she's only 9, we agreed that that $10 total a week is more than adequate for an allowance. She only gets paid if she does it without being reminded and the chore has to be approved as completed before movement of the magnet.

The list of supplies:
Cheap cookie sheet ($0.97 @ the store-that-shall-not-be-named)
2 rolls of coordinating ribbon
1 roll of contrasting duct tape ($4.00 for the whole roll)
roll of self-adhesive magnetic strip 1/2" ($8 for the whole roll)
Paint chips of your favorite colors. (free! but the store might get a little cranky if you take lots of them at one time. I went by the paint section twice to get all my chips)

Keep in mind the chores that are completed every day and the ones that are once a week. I used the same hue for the repetitive chores.

This is the magnetic tape. It was really easy to work with and made the craft go by really fast. Anytime you work with self-adhesives, it speeds things up exponentially!


Another tip I discovered after starting on the project was if you can find a cookie sheet with a hole in the handles will make it easier to hang. I cemented wire on the back of the sheet with some epoxy, which works fine, but I would have rather done it differently.

Craftiness

We have a family tradition of creating ornaments for the tree. Some years we make only one or two, and some years we make dozens. I believe that traditions are the thread that sews the family together. I did this with my mom when I was a little girl, and I have since continued with my son and daughter. I'm not sure who gets more excited about the new creations, me or them!

The number one tip I would give is to wash the ornaments with alcohol, glass cleaner, vinegar...which ever is your favorite quick drying glass cleaner. Allow to dry completely before capping. Below are this year's ornaments and the material list for each:

 Wreath:
Pipe cleaner
Red and clear beads
Alternate the beads onto the pipe clean and fasten the ends. Shape into a circle.
Ornament:
Black & white paint marker
clear drying glue
white iridescent glitter
yellow flocking powder
Draw the shape of the penguin onto the ball, along with the eyes. Paint the glue on the inside of the ball. With a small funnel, pour glitter onto the glue, trying not to get any onto the rest of the glass. Dump any excess glitter. Apply a triangle shape of glue for the beak and two "feet" shapes at the base of the penguin and apply the flocking powder. Do not shake off the excess of the powder until the glue has dried. I found the best glue for flocking is Aleen's craft glue. I used Elmer's paper glue for the glitter as it was all I had for clear glue. I can say I will use a different glue next time.

Pokeball:
Spray primer
Red paint marker
Black paint marker
Spray the entire ball with primer and allow to dry. Color the top half with red marker, draw a white circle in the middle, and outline all the white with the black marker.
This one was my son's favorite!

Green, Yellow, Pink, Blue, Orange flocking powder
Black, Green, Red paint marker
Clear drying glue
White irridicent glitter
Gold holographic glitter
Paint the inside of the ball with the glue in the shape of the snowpeople. Funnel the white glitter onto the glue and shake out the excess. Paint the black and red clothing accessories (hats, scarves, eyes, coal, holly berries...) and the green holly leaves and base color for the trees. Paint glue on for the hats, scarves, carrots, and the trees. Shake the appropriate color flocking powder onto the glue but do not shake off the excess until the glue dries. Allow to dry completely. Paint the glue into a star shape over each tree and shake on the gold glitter.

Silver holographic glitter
Clear Drying glue
Cotton tipped applicator
Using a cotton tipped applicator, paint the glue into a spiral, starting at the base of the globe and working up. Curve the applicator as needed to ease in application. Funnel the glitter into the globe, dumping out the excess.

This is an example of the trivit that I made for my female family members. Using a 6x6 tavertine tile, I painted the design and then wrote the saying with an indelible marker. Once it was completely dry, I sprayed it with a clear acrylic to protect it.