Money Doesn't Grow on Trees and other Momisms

You know you are no longer a kid when Momisms are no longer roll-your-eyes cliches but are actual truisms. I think I can tell you the exact point in my life when I realized life was no longer going to be a box of chocolates. I was in high school and I was accused of something completely embarrassing and was banned from an establishment solely because of my association with another person I thought was a friend. It was that moment I realized the meaning of "You lie down with dogs, you get up with fleas." I didn't apply this knowledge until much later in my life.

Money doesn't grow on trees was alternated with I'm not made of money, which they stopped using when our fear of our parents was overcome by the overwhelming urge to be a smartaleck and asked them if we could have either an arm or a leg. The leg would probably have more value. The older we got the less they used the mom and dadisms and I figure it is because we were all rather sarcastic. Since I was the baby of the bunch and was mercilessly bullied, I had to develop my skills and timing. My problem was I forgot to engage the filter of when to NOT quip. I learned that finally after a few unneeded arguments and a couple of fisticuffs. I probably have left some people with the urge to repeal the law against murder! I am trying to get it into my kids' heads the meaning of this one is that not only does one have to work for what you want, that nothing is free. Anything worth having is worth working hard for to have. It's harder for me to get it through to my son than my daughter. My son's bio-dad is given everything he wants from his parents without having to work for anything. His mother moved out of her house to allow him and his family to move in, and she bought a trailer instead. She was not in the position to do so with just retiring and her house and truck were completely paid off. History suggests she was encouraged to do so by her son. MY son was given a truck by the same woman after my reasoning against it was dismissed. There is no reason to have a vehicle if you haven't the means to pay for it, and since he doesn't have a job, there was not a reason to have a truck, no?!? I have told my son several times that if you want something like that, you have to work for it, so get a job and you can have it. Two years later and no job. So his dad is stuck paying for his insurance and is now thoroughly ticked at me for not helping. Yeah, I'm okay with that. With my daughter, I have told her "Happiness is not having what you want. It is wanting what you have," as quoted by Rabbi Hyman Schachtel. Stop wanting everything you see. Sometimes, what we want is something we already have an abundance of at home.

My favorite is "No use crying over spilled milk." You've heard it other places such as in the Lion King, "It doesn't matter, it's in the past. Yes, the past does hurt. But the way I see it, you can either run from it or learn from it." I think this is the most important lesson of all my kids need to learn. You need not worry about what mistakes you have made, but you need to work on not making them again. Learn from those mistakes. Figure out what happened to cause it. What choices have which consequences? Everything is cause and effect and when we learn this, we can learn to be happy, healthy, successful, and productive members of society. And this is exactly what we all wish for our kids to be.